November 10, 2009

If I haven’t told you already today. Fuck You.
And I say that from the most honest place in my body, my heart. And that fuck you is not directed to anyone special, and doesn’t matter if you knew me your whole life or just meet me the other day.

I am in the same city of 6th sense makes sense (no pun intended) why I am walking around like you all ghost. Growth of the years has shown me not to be scared, when they get to close they think they can hurt; I tried to build a wall but I failed and it was knocked down. So now I am just sitting pretty behind my fence hoping that I don’t have any intruders within the next couple days. I came to Philadelphia for my mother and I want to make that clear if it was my choice some of you would of never met me. But regardless you did, it’s been a long stint without a note only because my mind has been too dark; but this morning an angel gave me a flashlight. Now I am looking through every aspect of my life like its spring-cleaning, all this shit can go.
15 minutes away is way too close; so as I look for someone to further my education I am smoking an L. Spazzing on whoever thinking they can take it; so listen when I say back up please give me some space. I am on the 8th level and your on the 3rd, how the fuck is your advice going to help me. I am going sit back and let you find someone who really knows me; so they can tell you the same but you wont ever find that person.

Tired of you girls hitting my phone; for sex. Just chill out, take a step back and look at our relationship if you hit me more than I hit you I think you already know whats up. I don’t want you to say I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, the word is cold hearted; and I am just reflecting what I seen all my life.
You wanted a relationship and I gave it to you. Foolish me; I forgot who I have always been. So now I am thinking to myself this wont last more than a week, I can tell just by the way you went about today. I am not taking it personal and neither should you. Just know this is the mildest that it gets; I haven’t yet acted out. I took a walk home crossed my fingers I wouldn’t see anyone’s ugly face because I didn’t want to give anyone a hug, a handshake, or hello. None of you deserve my presences at all. I really hate people; and I am trying to figure out why I dislike all of you so much. Wait I got it; everyone has their hand out but no one is picking me up when I am down (excluding a few individuals).

I made my point.

Looking at a bowl of Ice Cream, I am pretty sure I asked for guilt on top. I just want to say sorry to everyone for November 10, 2009.